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ABOUT

05-21-14 11-12-38 PM

March 27th 2014.

Hello. My name is Carolyn Van. I’m a 28 year old downtown Toronto dwelling professional and I was born and raised right here in the city. I love sweating it out in dance studios, I’m a technology, business and design geek and I’m an educator, innovator and shi(f)t disturber, I eat and live healthy, I love to work, I love adventures and I love to laugh.

I’ve just been diagnosed with Lymphoma cancer – on Tuesday March 19th 2014. My life has already been turned upside down. I’m still having a real difficult time admitting it quietly to myself let alone saying it aloud or typing it out. C-A-N-C-E-R. I’m a complete mess right now and I have no idea how I’m going to deal with all of this. What the hell is Lymphoma cancer? How did I get here? Why me? A F$#!ING MESS.

A COMPLETE F$#!ING MESS.

After a suggestion from my friend Alkarim, a timely encounter with a 29-year old 2nd time cancer victim and being inspired by Sexy Crazy Cancer Tips on my first flip through – I’ve decided that I’m going to write out this journey. I’m hoping that at the very least this will help me process what I am and will about to go through. And maybe provide far removed/distant friends and acquaintances with a way to keep up with me and the Big “C” – if anyone ends up coming here.

As I attempt to mentally, emotionally and physically process this all, here are some tidbits of my unapologetic reflections and thoughts on what I’m feeling in the moment at the moment. Writing it out is me acknowledging how I’m feeling and hitting “publish” is me setting it free.

While everything about this journey will be nothing short of really difficult and unpredictable moments, the one thing I can be sure of is that this is going to be one life altering chapter of my life. It’s been less than 10 days since I was diagnosed and it has already started changing me dramatically – and I can feel it change those around me as well.

If anyone happens to be reading this – thanks for taking the time to visit. And if you’d like to continue reading, I suppose the best place to start is my first post. Here it is.

21 replies »

  1. Caroline,
    I’m very proud of you and your fight. We’re looking forward to seeing you this weekend. We’ve got your back.

  2. Lookout cancer this army of sass girl is about to give you the ass kicking of a lifetime…and she’s in great shape so hold on!!

  3. Carolyn, you’re a real life Superwoman. KA-POW!!! You’re gonna kick cancer’s butt. God bless you… I’m sending lots of superhero angels your way ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ xoxo Melisa

  4. Carolyn I had no idea! If I can help keep you strong I will! You show Cancer who’s boss lady! I know you will!!!

  5. Everyone, your support is overwhelming and very much so appreciated! Reading your notes help me get through some tough moments I’m encountering through all of this. There really is an army behind me ready to kick this one on the ass.

  6. Carolyn – I just found out from Bac Loan; I am in shock…. You are such an inspiration; your family and friends are with you throughout this journey – and I have no doubt you will kick-ass! I love reading your blogs, and will continue to do so…wow!

  7. Carolyn, we have never met but you inspire me with your courage to share it all. thank you for baring your soul. a good friend of mine went through Breast Cancer and she beat it!!! she wrote a blog as well, and included the video of her ringing the bell, signifying her last Chemo treatment. I hope her blog can help you too… http://kristalbreastcancer.blogspot.ca/ Best wishes and all my prayers…. Serena

    • Serena, It’s so nice to “meet” you! Thanks so much for reading and passing along your friend’s blog! I cannot WAIT to ring that damn bell. It’ll be a good day 🙂

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